Stand Tall: Chloe’s Guide to dealing with bullies on the web.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been cyber-bullied before, but I have, and trust me, no matter how much you tell yourself “I’m  

Bullying is never cool. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

O.K., they can’t change my mind, there’s no need to worry.”, it hurts. Whenever people give me advice on things like this, they always say things like “just ignore them,” or, “stand up to them,”. That’s what I did last year, when I hadn’t experienced this treachery. I thought it was helpful. But, honestly, it isn’t. No matter how much I tried to “just ignore it”, it still really hurt that people could say things like that to me. I found myself giving in to what the bullies said, sometimes even believing them. So, here it is. This is my mini-survival guide to cyberbullies. And I do mean mini, I only have ten percent battery left on my laptop. Now, this is just my strategy, yours might be completely different. Hopefully, however, you might get some ideas from this list here.

1. Don’t read it, do delete it. If you read the first sentence of a comment and find it full of insults, don’t read it, and if possible, delete it. Seriously. I know it might be tempting to find out what it says, but ya really don’t want to know. People can say really hurtful lies over the internet. It’s not cool. Don’t let yourself get caught in the meanness web. Yank out the sticky mean from your online world before you get seriously trapped.
2. W.A.L.K. A.W.A.Y. It might be tempting to run to every single forum you’re part of in call for advice, hugs, comfort, and by all means, do that, but not right after reading the post. You might not realize it, but other people’s anger is one of the best fuels for your own fire of anger, and what means to be a nice response to somebody’s nice comment on your SOS post can turn into a ferocious dragon yelling “You’re worthless!”. You don’t want anyone else feeling this way, right? So stand up, shut down the computer/iPad/whatever, and take a break for at least a couple of hours. Take a walk, bath, or snack break. Get lost in the latest Heroes of Olympus novel. Try to get your mind off of it until you’ve calmed down 100%.
3. Think Y-O-U. Once you’ve had some un-line time, sit down and do just what I told you not to do- think about what happened in a calm manner. Ask yourself honest questions such as How am I feeling about this?, On the scale of one to ten of my emotions, with one being the least bothersome and ten being the worst thing anyone could ever say to me, where was what he/she said?, or, What can I do about this? Try not to think about them, blaming them for how you feel. Of course, you’re angry, you’re hurt, but the blame game is never a good habit to get into. Instead, try to focus on how you feel and what you can do.
4. Don’t Reply. In real life, you might chose to stand up for yourself, and that would be the end of that problem, but online, it’s different. People say things just to upset people, and they laugh when they see “How dare you’s” in response. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Stay cool, delete the message, and don’t send them a bunch of hate-mail in response. If you’re talking in, say, Gmail chat or IM, just say you have to go and log off straight away before they can say anything else. And ban them, if possible, so it doesn’t happen again.
5. Be Brave. I know it’s hard, but just try not to let it take over your life, okay? By saying “be brave”, I am not saying it’s bad to feel upset or worried or scared. It’s healthy and natural to cry and let your feelings out. Just remember to stay true to yourself and your friends. It may seem impossible, but you will survive. I know you can.
6. Get Help. If the bullying continues, or if you get anything more than a six on the 1-10 rating question on number three, get help, now, from an adult you trust. It’s one thing to have your feelings hurt by accident, or to be playfully teased. It’s another to feel unsafe online. You will NOT get in trouble. You WILL get help and support.

Just hang in there, O.K.? I’m always here if you need to talk. I love you guys.